Tough Cookies: How Struggles Can Make You a Better Professional
Your setbacks don’t define you. How you overcome them does.
“What is to give light, must endure burning.” – Viktor Frankl
“I’m sorry, I’m looking for a new doctor. You had cancer 20 years ago, so I’m just not sure you’ll understand how to heal me.”
“Do you know a good accountant? Mine’s successful, but they were broke at one point, so I don’t think they can do my taxes.”
“My personal trainer has a waiting list a mile long. However, they were once obese, so I’m unsure they can help me get in shape.”
Does any of this logic make sense? Of course not.
I’ve noticed something interesting, though.
When I share details about my mental health journey, including my return to school to earn my psychology credentials, a popular question is: How can you be a good therapist if you’ve experienced your own mental health challenges?
Curiously, this isn’t a question often asked about other professions. Why, then, do we ask it about those in the mental health field?
In my opinion, this bias-based exception is grounded in three things:
internal unfamiliarity
disbelief in psychological science
devaluing experiential perspective
1. Internal Unfamiliarity
"Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom." - Lao Tzu
Based on direct experience, you probably recognize that physical health is a spectrum that constantly fluctuates based on myriad environmental factors. And except for extremes, you’re not either completely sick or wholly well.
For example, on Monday, you might feel some brain fog, and on Tuesday, takeout from a new restaurant gives you an upset stomach. On Wednesday, your allergies act up, but by Thursday night, you sleep better than you have in weeks.
Up and down. Better and worse. But not physically “sick” or completely “well” at any one point.
Similarly, mental health is also a spectrum. A boardroom presentation on Monday might send your anxiety through the roof, but the positive feedback you receive from your boss the next day makes you feel like you’re on cloud nine.
Or maybe the upcoming holidays will be the first without a loved one, and you feel deflated, with heaviness in the chest, lack of appetite, and low motivation. But remembering the good times with them could send your gratitude—and your feel-good hormones—soaring.
Up and down. Better and worse. But not mentally “ill” or completely “healthy” at any one point.
However, even though physical and mental health are so closely linked that one rarely fluctuates without impacting the other, many of us have only a loosely sketched map of our internal states compared to the detailed blueprint of our physical states. Its geography has yet to be recognized for this portion of the population, much less explored.
Therefore, this internal unfamiliarity makes it easy to believe persistent stigmas about the seemingly unscalable burden of mental illness.
2. Psychological Disbelief
“The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows.” – Sydney J. Harris
Before practicing as mental health professionals, most students undergo at least six years of postsecondary schooling. During this time, they learn things like:
what scientific inquiry has taught us about the human mind
how mental states impact behavior
a wide variety of therapeutic techniques
the critical thinking, communication, and interpersonal skills needed to effectively utilize these techniques
Additionally, licensure, continuing education, and specialty certifications persist long after graduation.
In other words, while mental health is a much newer field than physical health, the techniques therapists use to help people heal are similarly rooted in scientific inquiry and only practiced following extensive training.
However, a significant portion of the American population remains skeptical of psychological study and the techniques it informs.
A lack of awareness and education, diagnostic nuances, insurance coverage issues, and systemic barriers like inadequate training for specialized care causes many to believe that psychology is more common sense than science. And nearly half still believe that seeking therapy is a sign of weakness.
On the other hand, many Americans are becoming more open about mental health, with 87% saying that having a mental health disorder is nothing to be ashamed of and 86% saying that people with mental health disorders can get better.
Still, 39% of these same respondents said they would view someone differently if they knew they had a mental health disorder, and 33% said people with mental health disorders scare them.
Together, there is a great deal of push-and-pull between those in society who acknowledge the potential therapeutic benefits of psychological training and those who don’t. And this divide plays out in our healthcare system.
According to a recent Gallup survey, three-quarters of Americans believe their mental health issues are identified and treated worse than their physical, despite more than half reporting they'd experienced some mental condition in the past year. As a result, 57% graded the American healthcare system D or F on mental health treatment.
3. Devaluing Experiential Perspective
“Only when we know our own darkness well, can we be present with the darkness of others.” – Pema Chödrön
Would you rate the following statement as true or false?
A therapist who thrives with mental illness will likely be able to connect on a deeper level with clients also experiencing mental illness—and help them thrive, too.
If you said ‘false,’ you might believe that mental illness renders someone incapable of empowering others to heal their own. You might think it’s a scarlet letter, a lifetime disqualification. And this might be based on a combination of internal unfamiliarity and general disbelief in psychological science.
But the reality is that many groundbreaking mental health professionals—credited with helping millions—have also experienced their own mental health challenges:
Anna Freud: Depression
Carl Jung: Psychosis
Albert Ellis: Social anxiety
Marsha Linehan: BPD
Granted, those still mired in their suffering may not make maximally ideal practitioners. But for those who overcome intense personal struggles, we recognize that they can catalyze important transformation that impacts every facet of our lives—including making us better professionally.
Of course, not having this experiential perspective doesn’t mean you can’t be great at your job. But with it, you can understand problems in a nuanced way that’s wholly inaccessible to those without the same lens:
An oncologist who is also a cancer survivor will likely be a more empathetic physician for their patients undergoing treatment.
A dietitian with a history of obesity will likely be more sensitive to their client’s needs while they battle overeating.
An accountant who’s worked their way out of deep debt will likely be in a better position to counsel clients about their own negative spending habits.
Whether it’s mental health or anything else, most of us recognize that it’s not about the struggle; it’s about overcoming the struggle. Then, it’s about opening our authentic selves to the world.
None of us—mental health patients or otherwise—should define others by their past. Instead, we should define them by their willingness to accept the backbreaking task of self-reflection, openness to learning from the painful lessons it reveals, and using them to illuminate their path forward.
Therefore, let’s shift our perspective and celebrate with our colleagues, friends, and loved ones when they conquer their demons.
Let’s support them as they learn to thrive in their new reality.
And let’s walk alongside them as they use their newfound strength to consciously create a future filled with helping others.
What are your thoughts?
Very good points in this article. It leaves open the question of how to define “overcome.” Are certain qualities present in the individual, or must it be a certain period of time after a crisis or healing? This is something I grapple with personally as I grow as a yoga teacher and pursue studies in yoga therapy.
Great thought provoking article 👏👏 Personally, I prefer working with someone who has an understanding of what it’s like to go through a mental health crisis. And you don’t really understand it until you experience it. Of course the education is important, but I think having gone through similar struggles makes the person more empathic and easier to talk to. But that’s just my opinion and personal experience:)