Politicians Will Not Stop Your Suffering
But taking responsibility for your emotional skills will.
“We can see for ourselves the obvious truth that when we cling or hold on to that which changes, we suffer.” – Joseph Goldstein
Two years ago, I returned to school to earn my psychology credentials, which—in my mid-forties—has been a unique experience.
Not only are most of my classmates nearly old enough to be my children, but for many, their arrival in higher education has been the opposite of mine: First, I gained wisdom from decades of real-world, hands-on experience. Now, later in life, I’m layering the theoretical knowledge on top.
Granted, I still don’t know shit.
Even with the invaluable lessons I’ve learned during my own mental health journey, in addition to what I’ve absorbed in the classroom, I fully recognize my mountainous ignorance about the human psyche.
However, this knowledge and experience has revealed a unifying theme:
We suffer.
Every last one of us.
And we all seek relief.
What Happens When You Seek External Relief from Suffering?
To find reprieve from your suffering, it makes sense that you must first identify its source.
A knee-jerk solution—one your ego begs you to choose—is to blame an external ‘other.’ Then, to conclude that if this ‘other’ were to change, everything would be better.
“If only [politician, place, scenario, emotion, thing, etc.] were different, THEN I’d be happy,” you convince yourself.
However, by externalizing the cause of (and solution to) your suffering, you give it tremendous power. You surrender complete control over your present and future emotional states.
By externalizing the cause of (and solution to) your suffering, you give it tremendous power. You surrender complete control over your present and future emotional states.
When things go your way, it feels great. But when they don’t, it feels like shit. Which makes you cling to what feels ‘good’ even more. Then, you feel even worse when ‘bad’ stuff happens.
Back and forth. Back and forth.
You’re an emotional ping pong ball.
In other words, this life approach will cause you to continue suffering—again and again—in a constant cycle of seeking external blame and subsequent relief.
Good News: You Can Write Your Story—Not Politicians
Until you decide you’ve had enough.
Until you decide to take responsibility for the fact that it’s childish to blame an ‘other’ for your suffering. Until you recognize that it’s emotionally unskillful.
And until you decide to look inside, examine your suffering, and accept that you—and only you—are responsible for detaching your emotions from stuff you can’t control. Which is basically everything.
Here’s the beauty: This means you can choose when to exit your cycle of suffering.
Or… not.
The decision is 100% yours.
You’re the author of your story.
But whichever candidate you voted for this election, please recognize that no politician will help you write your next chapter, or solve your actual problems. It’s healthy to desire change, but they don’t provide the type you seek.
After all, you know they talk a good game, but they’re interested in alleviating their own cycle of suffering—and lining their pockets in the process.
May you honor the beauty in our ever-shifting external world, and also mindfully recognize that attaching yourself to anything it contains is a surefire recipe for deep dissatisfaction.
Instead, seek lasting refuge. Turn your attention inward.
Be your own superhero.
Your happiness awaits.
Regardless of who’s in office.



Thank you for this Derek. I just "found you" on Substack. I honour you for taking on studies like this in your fourth decade. I think perhaps one of the differences between you and your much younger classmates, is that many of them may not have yet reached the wisdom to say..."I fully recognize my mountainous ignorance about the human psyche". All the best Derek.
Thanks so much, Ryan! That's a great quote, and summarizes our predicament perfectly. Please keep up your outstanding work as well!