Reading this brought on tears, filled with anger and regret for friendships lost and siblings who have severed ties with me because we are on opposite sides of the political spectrum. Thank you for the insights here. 💖
Thank you so much, Dorene. I'm sorry you've also experienced this unique kind of pain, but I hope you're mindfully working through the anger and regret to experience the immense beauty on the other side.
I appreciate your kind words, Shalini. I'm choosing not to cling to expectations, and instead moving forward in my truth and light. Perhaps one day we'll realign, but if not, I wish them lasting peace.
When you say “And when we mindfully sit with—seek to quench—them, ask what they can teach us, and release our clinging to them, everything they once supported will crumble into dust.” Are you talking about doing meditation or just sit and think about the flames?
Great question, Shalini. I'm a fan of personifying my emotions, especially the toxic ones. While meditating, I picture them in front of me in all their 'ugliness,' imagine reaching out toward them, embracing them with compassion, asking them what they want to show me, and when the time feels right, releasing my embrace and watching them fade into the background. It might take dozens (or hundreds) of times, but I feel like their wisdom inevitably bubbles to the surface.
So what you are basically saying is you are not allowing thoughts to come and go when you are meditating but you are actually directing the flow of your thoughts by thinking about what’s bothering you and holding them captive until they get released automatically?
I observe my thoughts as they ebb and flow, and when a challenging emotion bubbles up, I then personify it.
Then, I observe myself embracing/cradling/holding space for the emotion, instead of 'capturing' it, which to me denotes clinging and confrontation. That's the opposite of my intent and is something I feel would work against what I'm trying to achieve.
I don't experience an automatic release, but a natural point at which I soften my embrace. Sometimes, that point arrives after I've simply 'showed' the emotion that I'm no longer running from it; other times, it's after it's revealed something about myself.
I was really touched by this. That line — “our flaming wounds often act as pillars in our lives” — really stuck with me.
I know how hard it is to lose a friendship, especially one that’s been part of your life for so long. The way you sit with the pain, reflect on it, and still find gratitude is really powerful. Your honesty here is so real — thank you for sharing it.
Reading this brought on tears, filled with anger and regret for friendships lost and siblings who have severed ties with me because we are on opposite sides of the political spectrum. Thank you for the insights here. 💖
Thank you so much, Dorene. I'm sorry you've also experienced this unique kind of pain, but I hope you're mindfully working through the anger and regret to experience the immense beauty on the other side.
They will come back when they realize their folly. Be hopeful until that day happens
I appreciate your kind words, Shalini. I'm choosing not to cling to expectations, and instead moving forward in my truth and light. Perhaps one day we'll realign, but if not, I wish them lasting peace.
When you say “And when we mindfully sit with—seek to quench—them, ask what they can teach us, and release our clinging to them, everything they once supported will crumble into dust.” Are you talking about doing meditation or just sit and think about the flames?
Great question, Shalini. I'm a fan of personifying my emotions, especially the toxic ones. While meditating, I picture them in front of me in all their 'ugliness,' imagine reaching out toward them, embracing them with compassion, asking them what they want to show me, and when the time feels right, releasing my embrace and watching them fade into the background. It might take dozens (or hundreds) of times, but I feel like their wisdom inevitably bubbles to the surface.
So what you are basically saying is you are not allowing thoughts to come and go when you are meditating but you are actually directing the flow of your thoughts by thinking about what’s bothering you and holding them captive until they get released automatically?
I observe my thoughts as they ebb and flow, and when a challenging emotion bubbles up, I then personify it.
Then, I observe myself embracing/cradling/holding space for the emotion, instead of 'capturing' it, which to me denotes clinging and confrontation. That's the opposite of my intent and is something I feel would work against what I'm trying to achieve.
I don't experience an automatic release, but a natural point at which I soften my embrace. Sometimes, that point arrives after I've simply 'showed' the emotion that I'm no longer running from it; other times, it's after it's revealed something about myself.
How beautifully you have portrayed it, as though it were a child. Thank you Derek. Appreciate this explanation!
I was really touched by this. That line — “our flaming wounds often act as pillars in our lives” — really stuck with me.
I know how hard it is to lose a friendship, especially one that’s been part of your life for so long. The way you sit with the pain, reflect on it, and still find gratitude is really powerful. Your honesty here is so real — thank you for sharing it.
Thank you deeply, Nat. 🙏